Tagged: moral stories

10 Sayings of Bible Mothers

Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don’t know where it’s been! (Judges 14:5-8) 9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons! 8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper! 7. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! I told you never to play with fire! 6. Cain! Get off your brother! You’re going to kill him some day! 5. Noah! No, you can’t keep them! I told you, don’t bring home any more strays! 4. Gideon! Have you been...

Funny Church Football Phrases :)

In a never-ending effort to attract the unchurched, some churches have considered translating their unfamiliar terminology into familiar football phrases. BLITZ-The strategic play that takes place two seconds after closing prayer as everyone rushes for their favorite restaurant. BLOCKING-Talking endlessly to the pastor at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting. COACH-The children’s Christmas program director. ASSISTANT COACH-Every mother who has a kid in the children’s Christmas program. COMMERCIAL-Announcements. DRAFT CHOICE-The decision to sit close to an air conditioning vent. DRAW PLAY-What many children (and not a few adults) do with their bulletins during the service. END ZONE-The...

Acts 2:38!

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder… She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: “Stop! Acts 2:38!” (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ , so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady...

Jesus is Watching You

Jesus is Watching You A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, “Jesus is watching you.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so...

Feet, Hands and Blood of Jesus

Feet, Hands and Blood of Jesus Feet that walked on water with the power of the Father calmed Peter’s fears and rid him of his cares. Feet that were ridden in soil became cleansed and doused in oil by a young girl named Mary- her sins she would no longer carry. Feet that were nailed to the cross while his mother weeped at her loss, the soldiers jeered at the King of the Jews and his followers knelt down as if in the pews. Hands that calmed a mighty storm causing it to recede back to its norm were hands...